Published: Irish Independent
Author: Emily Hourican
Expert Opinion: Dr. Malie Coyne
“When it comes to preparing ourselves for the expectation versus the reality of Christmas, I really like the formula: ‘Happiness = Expectations minus Reality.’ Because we live in a world that drives our expectations up, we’ve ended up with a situation where our expectations are beyond reality’s capacity to meet them, so the gap between expectation and reality can be massive. The fact is that families spend more time together at Christmas, which can inevitably lead to tension and confrontation.
“This is natural and this is OK. We all experience conflict, nobody is immune. Expecting perfect families sets us up badly. Rather than see it as an ‘if’, try to see it as a ‘when’, so ‘when there is conflict, I will take a breather, I will try not to do harm, I will take responsibility for my part and I will try to repair.’ Confrontations are painful, but they happen to all of us and are what make us human. It is important for parents to make their best efforts to repair in a way that strengthens their relationships with their children, which is a precious opportunity to model how healthy relationships work.”
